


Is Rebecca Acting Weird...er Than Usual?

by ohmarqueliot



Category: Crazy Ex-Girlfriend (TV)
Genre: Angst and Feels, F/M, missing 8 months, rebecca feels too many things, she respectfully declines these feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-19
Updated: 2018-03-19
Packaged: 2019-04-04 15:50:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,272
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14023551
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ohmarqueliot/pseuds/ohmarqueliot
Summary: Rebecca has been avoiding Nathaniel all day and he can't figure out why. When they have to woo potential new clients together at a charity event, will the truth come out? Set during their 8 month affair.





	Is Rebecca Acting Weird...er Than Usual?

_Out the front._

Nathaniel pressed send on the text and slipped his phone into the inner pocket of his dinner jacket. Pulling a bottle of champagne from the fridge, he poured a glass for himself while he waited, then a second when he saw Rebecca just outside the car. Climbing inside, she nodded to the driver as he closed the door behind her, and then settled into the seat opposite him, staring at him with wide, accusing eyes. "What the hell are you playing at?"

"Oh, so you're talking to me now?" he shot back at her, raising his eyebrows questioningly and holding out the other glass. Dropping her eyes, she took it reluctantly, and downed it a lot less reluctantly. She held out her glass for a refill and he hesitated for a moment, caught between reminding her that they were working and wanting to know what was wrong, but he chickened out of both, just pouring her another drink instead.

He was a little surprised that she'd actually shown up. Their dinner with these potential clients had been set up a week ago, but a week ago Rebecca hadn't been avoiding him like the plague. Hell, just yesterday she hadn't been avoiding him. Today, though, he'd been lucky to get a word or two out of her, and that was when she wasn't hiding in the lunch room or the conference room or at Paula's desk.

Whatever it was, she clearly didn't want to talk about it now if the way she was studying the bubbles in her drink was anything to go by. He let it drop, leaning back in his seat and taking a sip of his own.

After a few minutes she relaxed... well, a little. "This doesn't really feel like dinner," she pointed out.

Nathaniel shrugged unapologetically. "To be fair, it _was_ dinner. I have tickets to a charity gala that I'd forgotten about and when I remembered I thought we could woo them there instead."

"I hope you gave them more notice than me," she said pointedly, "’cause otherwise Mrs Montgomery is going to be frazzled and sweaty from running around the house in a mad rush trying to get ready in time."

Yeah, so maybe he should have given Rebecca more notice, but whatever mad rush she'd apparently been in didn't show at all. He let his eyes rove over her, taking in her perfectly styled hair, the sparkly necklace around her neck drawing attention to her collarbone, the long, black dress that left her shoulders bare and hugged her in all the right places. "You seem to have managed fine," he said, imagining the feel of that soft fabric under his hands while he gripped at her hips. Suddenly he wanted nothing more than to pull her onto his lap and watch her fall apart as she rode him in the back of the limo. She raised her eyes to meet his and he saw an answering warmth in them, so he leaned forward, ready to toss the wine aside.

Rebecca's eyes dropped quickly, and he changed the motion quickly to lifting his glass and taking a long drink, trying not to choke on it. So she wasn't up for a quick fuck in the limo, that's fine. He didn't want to either.

She remained quiet and he didn't push her, though he felt himself becoming more and more conflicted every minute. She was fidgety, fiddling with her glass, shifting in her seat, glancing at him and away again repeatedly. And was she...? Yes, her cheeks were getting redder and redder, and he desperately wanted to know why she was blushing but her obvious discomfort stopped him from prying.

He'd just resigned himself to riding the rest of the way in silence when she straightened her shoulders and looked at him squarely. "So how does Mona feel about you picking up another woman in a limo and taking her to a fancy event?"

Because Mona was exactly who he wanted to be thinking about right now. He deliberately smoothed away his frown, feeling more confused than ever. It's not that they avoided speaking about his girlfriend completely - they were friends, after all - but it was rare for Rebecca to bring her up. And weird for her to sound so accusatory.

Nathaniel shrugged, feigning indifference. "She's fine with it," he said, pretty sure that whatever was going on in Rebecca's head didn't need to be encouraged by the fact that when Mona had assumed they were travelling separately he hadn't bothered to correct her. "It's business. She understands."

Rebecca stared at him with the same conflicted look she'd worn for most of the trip so far. "Good, because it's not like this is a date or anything," she said firmly, straightening her face and nodding to herself.

Was there the question of that? Did she want it to be a date? Her words said no... and her face said no...

_Which means no, you idiot._

"Of course not," he said quickly, wondering why he was second guessing everything. _Had_ he _wanted this to be a date?_ That's ridiculous - this was work and just work. God, she looked gorgeous though. "That would be ridiculous." He paused, feeling uncomfortable with the furrow in her brow, the press of her lips together. If she wouldn't tell him what was wrong with her today then at least he could try and make her smile. "Although technically you are my date, but the clients are also my date so it's all above board."

Her lip twitched in what was barely an obligatory smile, and he realised he'd succeeded in only making them both worse with his dumb joke. Draining his glass, he considered pouring another but they were almost there and he wanted to keep a clear head tonight. They had a client to win, after all.

And it was for that reason that, when they pulled up out the front of the hotel, he straightened his shoulders and his thoughts. He was here for work, and to network, and he didn't have time to waste on whatever was making Rebecca act all weird, not if she wasn't going to share willingly. But he still needed her to be on her game tonight - they'd proven time and time again what they could accomplish together. This would be easy.

He wished some things were _easier_.

Stepping out of the limousine, he offered her his hand to help her out, accepting her smiled thank you without comment, and headed inside the building. The ballroom was on the left but she missed the sign, about to walk straight past it, so he put his hand on her back to guide her in the right direction, his fingers brushing against the bare skin for a moment. Her whole body seemed to shiver and he glanced down at her in surprise, but bit back his question when she stiffened, her face reddening again.

She let out a long breath when he dropped his hand, glaring up at him as though daring him to say something, but he was so confused by her reactions to him tonight and earlier today that he didn't quite know what to say. "I see Mr and Mrs Montgomery over there," he said, deciding to just stick to business, and the relief in her eyes when he didn't say whatever she was worried about him saying was palpable. "Let's get them some drinks and get this thing over with?"

"Sounds great," she said, leading the way over to the bar.

* * *

Mr and Mrs Montgomery were the perfect clients.

Rebecca had done her research - she knew all about their restaurant that they wanted to expand, and their troubles negotiating a fair price on the land that they wanted for their second location. She knew all about their partnership, and more about their marriage than she'd ever admit to them. She knew where their kids went to school and their hobbies and what their hopes and dreams were.

And so when she and Nathaniel approached them, she took the reins of the conversation and didn't even touch on the topic of business straight away. Once she got Mrs Montgomery - "please call me Laura" - to mention that she minored in theatre in college, the two of them spent the next half hour reminiscing about what shows they put on. After that the couple was putty in her hands.

Nathaniel seemed to see that she was a hit with the schmoozing and mostly left her to it, just adding a comment here and there or fetching them drinks when Laura and Harry's emptied, but once it got down to business he was right there with her, selling themselves and their firm shoulder to shoulder with her. They worked so well together, made the perfect team through from the wooing to the end game. She felt a swell of warmth rise in her, settling in her cheeks, and dropped her eyes to the ground, silently cursing herself and her stupid brain. She hated this - she was acting like a school girl with her first crush. _Keep your head in the game, Rebecca,_ she told herself, then powered on with her plan on how to get them that new site for the price they wanted.

They finished their pitch, and Rebecca fought to keep the smug smile off her face when the Montgomerys looked at each other with barely restrained excitement. She knew it was a done deal - they wanted that property, and she knew that they could get it for them. "Will you give us a moment?" Harry said, looking pointedly at his wife.

"Of course," Nathaniel said, and the couple took a few steps away and put their heads together, talking quickly in hushed voices. Nathaniel turned toward her, grabbing her by her opposite shoulder and turning her into him, ducking his head to speak in her ear. The breath of his words raised goosebumps on her skin. "This is a done deal," he said, as though it weren't obvious.

His hand moved to her other shoulder, and she was distracted by how warm and firm his touch was on her bare skin. "They're probably just trying to not look too eager," she said. He was too close for her to meet his eyes, so she closed hers. "But yeah, we totally nailed that."

"Speaking of," he said quietly, his voice dropping in pitch. He leaned in slightly closer, his fingers flexing over her shoulder. "What do you say we find somewhere private to celebrate?"

Opening her eyes, they flickered over him quickly, and suddenly her throat was tight. He was so close... it would be so easy to slip properly under his arm, to press herself close to him. She would fit so snugly under his armpit, her face pressed to his firm chest. His arm would tighten around her, and she would be so warm in his embrace. Her heart felt heavy, so heavy just thinking about it.

Nathaniel leaned back, looking down at her with a smugly suggestive smile, and she belatedly remembered what he'd asked her. "Oh. Right. Sex."

He raised his eyebrows, nodding slowly in bemusement. "Yes, that _is_ what I was implying."

Her eyes darted between his, searching for something behind the jokes, behind the lust, not entirely sure what exactly she was looking for. After a moment he parted his lips as though he was about to speak but instead he tilted his head, his brow furrowing slightly. She wanted to reach out and smooth away the lines with her fingertips. She wanted to –

"It's a deal!"

Rebecca almost jumped out of her skin at the sound of Laura's voice right behind them. Spinning around and thankfully away from Nathaniel's touch on her skin, she faced their new clients with a smile hastily plastered on her face and her heart racing.

"We'll come by first thing tomorrow to sign the paperwork," Harry added.

"I - we, uh - I mean, that's -" _That's what, you idiot?_ She closed her eyes, unable to move past the awkwardness and embarrassment that she felt not only for being caught in whatever that moment with Nathaniel was, but for the confusing and stupid things that she was feeling for him. _Stop, stop, stop._ "That's... um..."

"That's wonderful," Nathaniel said firmly, shooting her a look that was equal parts irritation and concern. He reached out to shake Harry's hand and then Laura's, and she followed suit belatedly, struggling to shake herself out of her spinning thoughts. Did it look like what he was thinking or what she was thinking? Which was worse? Or did it look like nothing at all?

_Please, why can't it just be nothing at all?_

_However it looked, whatever you're doing now is not helping._

She could pull it together for work. She could always pull it together for work. Straightening her shoulders, she gave their newest clients her most winning, confident, not-at-all-a-mess smile. “We’ll be there with bells on! Well, not actual bells… although we could wear actual bells if you wanted us to.” She glanced up at Nathaniel, the thought of him with bells hanging on a rope around his neck making hysterical laughter bubble up her throat, but she managed to catch it before it burst out. “I can wear bells. He probably won’t wear bells.”

_Great save, Rebecca._

“Why don’t the two of you have a look at the raffle prizes?” Nathaniel asked, pointing the Montgomerys in the direction of the far wall where the prizes were laid out. “I bought a few tickets for you. No, no – it’s a gift and besides, it’s for a good cause.”

“We’ll see you tomorrow.” Rebecca smiled widely at the couple again but then dropped it as soon as they turned away. “I’m going to the bathroom,” she said quickly to Nathaniel, ignoring his protest and walking away. She just needed a minute to get herself under control.

When she saw the line for the ladies room she didn’t hesitate, going straight to the exit instead. Fresh air would do as well as solitude in a cubicle. The night air was warm, but she hugged her arms around her nonetheless as she headed around the side of the building to get away from the random people milling around the front of the hotel. Her heart stopped when she heard footsteps behind her, every part of her suddenly sure that she was ten seconds away from becoming a cautionary tale about going down dark alleyways at night, but that faded into relief when she heard a familiar voice calling her name. That relief quickly turned to frustration – didn’t he understand that she didn’t want him here right now?

“Rebecca, wait,” he called, and she sighed heavily, reluctantly turning to face him. “What is wrong with you?” he asked bluntly as he caught up with her. It was dark, but there was enough light that she could make out the annoyed confusion on his face. Yep, he certainly didn’t like not knowing what was going on. “Why are you out here? And what the hell has been up with you all night? And today.” He held out his arms, palms forward, asking her for the truth. “You’ve been acting weirder and weirder since this morning.”

She screwed up her face defensively. “I don’t know what you’re –“

“Rebecca,” he said incredulously.

Her shoulders slumped in defeat. “I…” she began but then hesitated, grimacing up at him. Why couldn’t he just leave it alone? “I had a dream about you last night,” she finally admitted, glancing up at him through her eyelashes before looking quickly down at the ground. She didn’t have the heart today to put up with him needling at her, didn’t want to see his reaction.

“Well then,” he said, and his tone wasn’t mocking or laughing. She reluctantly raised her eyes to find a smug grin on his face. “A sex dream, huh?” His eyebrows dropped up and down suggestively. “What was it that has you so worked up? It’s not like we haven’t done… well, everything. Unless it was just that good.”

He was the epitome of a smirking arrogant male. She wanted to roll her eyes and tell him he was an idiot. She wanted to wrap her arms around his neck and pull his mouth down to hers, have him push her back up against the wall of the building and do her out there in the open with no thought of the consequences of getting caught. More than anything, she wanted to step into the warm circle of his arms, where she just knew that she’d feel good and safe and whole. 

She couldn’t tell him the truth. She couldn’t tell him that it had been just a nice, normal dream, where he’d held her and loved her and was just _there_. The fondness that she’d felt in her dream hadn’t left her when she’d woken up, and she’d spent all day trying to shake that warm and fuzzy feeling every time she looked at him and failing that, had taken to avoiding him as much as she could. She’d felt almost _giddy_ , and then embarrassed and frustrated that she couldn’t stop herself. Now she just felt tired.

It felt like love, but it wasn’t. It wasn’t real. But knowing that didn’t make her feel it any less strongly.

The silence had stretched out too long, and Nathaniel was looking at her expectantly, his excitement fading into confusion again. “It doesn’t matter,” she said, shaking her head and taking a step back from him. “It was just a dream. Now, if everything’s good with the clients, I’d just really like to go home.”

Nathaniel frowned at her, opened his mouth to speak, but then seemed to think better of it. After a moment he nodded. “Okay. Rebecca… are you okay?”

“Yeah,” she said, lifting the corner of her mouth into what wasn’t quite a smile. _Just stupid, and lonely, and missing you._ But it was just the dream, that’s all. “I’m okay.”

The limo ride home took at least four times as long as the one there, or so it felt anyway. Rebecca kept her eyes in her lap or out the window, counting the seconds until they reached her place. By some small miracle, Nathaniel didn’t press her for conversation, flirtatious or otherwise, though she heard him shifting in his seat every few minutes.

When the car pulled up at her house she murmured a goodnight and climbed out of the car with only a quick glance at Nathaniel. Inside the house, she pulled off her shoes and walked to her room on tiptoes so as not to wake Heather and Hector. Closing her bedroom door behind her, she squirmed out of her dress and let it drop to a heap on the floor, and lay down on top of her bed in her underwear. Pulling Ruth Gator Ginsberg into her arms, she held it tight, pressing her face into it’s soft familiarity.

It was just that stupid dream that was making her feel this way. She’d had dreams before that had stayed with her emotionally for an hour or a day, but none that had hit her quite this hard. But it wasn’t an indication of how she felt or what she wanted. She was fine on her own. She didn’t need him or want him or think about him or miss him.

_I don’t wish things were different. I don’t really want him to snuggle and to be with and to love._

_…Right?_


End file.
